Whether you use qui or que (as relative pronouns) depends on two rules:
1) Use qui if you are referring to the subject or if there is a preposition directly preceding it.2) Use que referring to the direct object (COD).
C'est le gars qui m'a parlé hier. -- That's the guy who spoke to me yesterday.C'est le gars à qui j'ai parlé hier. -- That's the guy with whom I spoke yesterday.C'est le gars que j'ai rencontré hier. -- That's the guy (whom) I met yesterday.
Agreed, it can be tricky and frustrating.
There's an easy pattern to spot when deciding between qui and que to say who, that or which:
Use qui when the following word is a verb or reflexive /object pronoun (e.g. me, te, se, lui, le, la, nous, vous, leur, les, etc), and use que if the following word is a noun (thing or person).
The above has been copied and pasted from a lesson specifically on this point that is causing you some grief.
Hope that it will help
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