Bonjour Michael !
I agree that it's indeed quite a tricky point! Indeed, after looking into it thoroughly, I can't really come up with a better explanation than "colloquial usage", which I admit is not really satisfying :)I would say however that we will tend to use soi rather than soi-même after prepositions (devant, avec...) and with comparisons or after que in general.
Soi-même will more often be used to emphasise that you do the action yourself:
I hope that's helpful!Merci et bonne journée !
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